Dating courtship and betrothal
If the girl isn’t interested in the guy, she might even tell her dad to deny him right away in order to not hurt him personally.
If the boy gets permission to court, he might be allowed to ask her himself (not dad telling her). They may also decide if they need chaperoning, and when they need it. Kissing is usually a no-no during courtship, but might be ok for the engagement. The boy will need permission to propose, but if they have been courting for a year plus it’s very likely he’ll get it.
When Israel Wayne was in his early twenties, his mom started talking to him about a girl named Brook.
Specifically, she asked him to pray and think about whether Brook should become his wife.
Different groups use the term "Biblical betrothal" in different ways, but for the Waynes, it meant that instead of dating or even courting Brook (a way of dating with an eye to marriage preferred in some Christian churches), Israel talked to his mom about whether she would make a good wife, and then prayed.
When he decided God wanted the marriage, he asked Brook's parents for her hand.
Couched in the ancient metaphor of the phoenix, the mythical bird that burns yet emerges unscathed from the embers, the explicit language of desire winds along the length of a woven belt: I WILL SMOULDER EVEN AS A PHOENIX/ WITH THE FIRE OF YOUR KISSES,/ AND I WILL DIE.
Though its author has eluded identification, the verse echoes chivalric love poetry from the late Middle Ages by Petrarch or Dante, texts well known among a broad range of social classes by the middle of the sixteenth century through musical contexts such as madrigals as well as in written form.
This is fabulous in marriage and dangerous in casual relationships.
The boy might even tell the girl he will talk to her dad before he talks to her dad.
The father will evaluate the boy, but the daughter will be strongly involved in the questions he’s asking and has a big say in the decision he’s making.
Here, the poet praises the moment when he first saw the eyes of his beloved but elusive Laura, and was bound to her by love, which led to his heart’s being pierced by wounding arrows.
This imagery of piercing and binding is ubiquitous on a group of maiolica dishes from Deruta, Faenza, and Gubbio.
Of course, the support goes both ways, only furthering my point that for Christ’s sake, we do need each other in one capacity or another.